Sept. 16, 2000

I am writing now as Tamia Dolatabadi. I am still not used to writing my new last name and refering to Roshan as "my husband" instead of "my boyfriend".

Kelleen and Michael got into town on the 6th of September. We went together to the Kariye Camii and Roshan and I accompanied them on their first trip to Sultanahmet where they disapeared into the Blue Mosque for so long I got worried they had been abducted by a carpet salesman. It turned out they had arrived just as the mosque was closing for prayer and sat in the courtyard waiting.

Roshan's parents have been here since August. Akrem brought Roshan's sister's wedding dress which she had made for her. It is an all out wedding dress with ruffles, feathers, beads, roses and a small train. It was a bit hard to move around in (not good for dancing) so Akrem brought a couple other dresses which were of her design based on more traditional Persian clothing.

As the day approached, the main worry for me was, of course, shoes. I had to find a pair of white shoes that fit my standards: 1. Did not have high heels 2. Were not ugly 3. Were not expensive and 4. Fit me.

Tuesday morning (after suffering from food poisoning Monday night from a fish sandwich I had on the Bosphorus) Roshan and I went to Nisantasi. Just as we were about to give up (and I was sure that our marriage would be a success because taking me shoe shopping is the best way to see me at my worse, and he managed very well) we found a pair that fit all my standards except the one about fitting. They were too tight but I had a couple days to attempt to stretch them.

Thursday morning, the day of the wedding, I slept in hoping to be rested. Akrem arrived and made lunch, showing Kelleen and I the mysteries of how to make Iranian rice. After eating, we started to get ready. Later, we took photos and waited for Behzad and Behruz to arrive. At 3:30 they still hadn't come. We were supposed to be at the Wedding office by 3:45 and the wedding was scheduled for 4. At 3:40, I suggested taking a taxi but they arrived in time to whisk us off to the office.

Several of our friends were already there along with our lovely witnesses, Shirin and Firuze. Roshan and I were shoved into a little claustrophobic room and told to "Stay!". Roshan managed to escape because he is a guy. People flitted back and forth. Roshan popped by to report he had been forced to pay a $15 bribe to some guy so we'd be able to take our own photos. However, the cameramen got greedy and demanded $60 more. We refused but some how things seemed to be settled by the time the wedding started since Behzad was filming.

We entered the carnivalesque wedding "palace". Roshan's mother had set up the traditional Iranian wedding table on the stage. There was sugar and candy so the marriage would be sweet, a candle for each of us, the rings and a mirror (which represents the creation of the world). We sat down at the table and waited for the wedding official guy. Akrem sprinkled sugar over us. In the mean time, a fight broke out between the camera men of the wedding office and our friends and family who wanted to take pictures. Our friend Kibaret finally told them that all the people taking photos were from different countries and were leaving the next day. This settled things but the cameramen still insisted on blocking everyone's view.

The official guy arrived with a pile of papers. He asked us our names and parents' names. Then he said a bunch of stuff in Turkish which I didn't really understand. Eventually he held the microphone in my face and I said , "Kabul Ediyorum," a phrase I had learned about 3 seconds before when Roshan had said it. I am very glad that Turkish doesn't have different gramatical forms for if a female or male says something. Everyone applauded (and I didn't hear anyone laughing) so I guess I said the right thing. We kissed, stood up and put on the rings and then kissed again. Then Roshan's family all came up and put lots of gold coin jewelry on me. The earrings proved difficult so Kibaret helped. Finally we put out the candles using flowers from my bouquet and went outside to greet everyone and take photos.

We had the party at Badehane. Bade had made some lovely food and lots of punch. I had changed into the party dress which Akrem had made because I knew we'd be dancing. Slowly people arrived. We ate and danced. Roshan's parents played some Azerian music along with Roshan's Azerian musician friends. Around 8, our friends from Peru, Jose and Washington, who had just arrived the day before (lucky coincidence!) came and played some songs. There was a lot of dancing and even my brother danced for about 5 seconds!

Later on, we cut the cake. It was a good cake with chocolate covered nuts inside. Towards the end of the night, after most people had left, Selim Sesler, the best Turk/Rom/Gypsy clarinetist in Istanbul came back from a gig which had kept him away until then. We gathered in a corner and he played some songs with Roshan and Behruz. Bade turned down the lights. I divided my bouquet (I hadn't really known when to throw it) and gave pieces to all the women who were left. Everyone agreed it was a fun wedding.